nothing seemed to go right for me today. work is frustrating, dealing with these new meds is frustrating, society in this city is frustrating.. getting harassed 5 times a day by drivers as i walk down the street is really starting to get old.. it's sad that a few bad apples have to spoil my perception of this entire province..
had a gentle 4.2k run today as well as a nice 2.25k swim, even though i was in a rather upset and aggravating mood..
still don't know what to do with next weekend.. part of me wants to go to the mainland and run Akron and Toronto marathons on back to back days to prove to the world that it can be done (heck, why not become the first newfoundlander in world history to run marathons in consecutive days in different countries?). but part of me knows i can't really afford such a trip... and part of me doesn't want to go thru the frustration of having to record further sub-standard times.. it's not really fair for me to be labelled as a male as i am severely handicapped with these female hormones..
part of me doesn't ever want to participate in a marathon ever again until i am legally and officially recognized as a female... which won't likely happen for at least 3 years, given the strict criteria of the international running community - eligibility to compete as a female won't occur until 2 years after gonadectomy (aka testicle removal).. how is that fair? even up to 729 days after i have had my testicles removed and penis turned into a vagina, i must still compete as a male?!?! i don't think so....
with this in mind, i am gearing up for a long break from officially sanctioned marathons.. i'm still going to write Boston to see if they will let me run on April 2009, and even though i know my time will be extremely slow, i still want the satisfaction of being able to say i ran it as a male.. then hopefully again, many times, later in life, as a female.. but other than that, this will likely be my last marathon until 2011.