well, i didn't get a very good sleep last night. today at work was a struggle to stay awake. had a nice walk at lunch hour and actually spent the entire hour sitting by the pond with about 30 duckies and it was very pleasant.
i had a 1k run from the office to home in order to make my teleconference with my psychologist in time. but that was it. i never made it back out of the house for a longer run or swim. i think today was a very emotional day that took its toll physically. knowing that i will be having a fairly major and life-changing surgery next month is really starting to freak me out. this is the biggest decision of my entire life so far. the financial implications are huge too. it's going to be a $4000-5000 trip, and with my short-term future at work uncertain, this is definitely a bit of a gamble from this perspective.
but ultimately, i know this is going to make me feel great, both physically and emotionally, as it is a major step towards making this transition faster and easier.. even though it will be quite painful and challenging in the short term.
well, let's see if i can get a good night sleep and make it over to the pool tomorrow!