Monday, May 21, 2012

What's Wrong Jennifer? May 21/2012

well, this was supposed to be a private e-mail to a couple of friends, but i figured, i might as well put it out there for the world to see, read, assess, and hopefully react too.....  so after a few minor edits, here it is....  lots of good things happening these days, but just enough gaps and holes to make it appear as though my life is miserable..........  thoughts anyone??

......Wow, that was a long sleep-in for me.. lol lots on the go.. rough day, rough week, rough year, heck, rough century! the problems and challenges keep piling on my life and the solutions seem to be tougher to find. 

From losing my human rights case against MCP and being out $20000, to not being able to find a good job, to dealing with a permanently injured anke ligament, to coming to terms with my separation from st. john's LGB community, to still mourning the loss over family members who still can't accept me as jennifer... to the little things... like crushing over someone i met last week that i can't have..

So many things are going so well for me these days, yet there seems to be enough gaps and holes in every situation to make me feel as though i am the most upset, lonely, and unhappy with life than i have ever been before... i think the biggest conflict is that as much as i have come to love so many things about newfoundland, i realize, as i knew all along, that i don't belong here.. i'll never be totally happy or accepted here, and that my goals and dreams will never materialize here.. only problem, is that there's no where else i really wanna be either.. just a lost soul still trying to find her way thru life.... 

Wow, i just typed an impromptu blog post.. lol anyway, there's life in Jennifer's world.. hehe


Reaity Check said...

It seems pretty obvious to me that you need a change.....of gender? habitat? lifestyle? attitude? all of the above.

Perhaps "transition consultant" is not the career choice for you.

your friendly troll

Jennifer McCreath said...

hehe note my article today on trolls. i don't find your comments to be nearly as troll-like as the infamous toronto folk who has been plaguing my blog.. yah changes in the works for me. consultant has never been a career, just another way of rebranding and repackaging my skillset. but yah, the week that was certainly helped me realize what i have been missing and what my priorities need to be.. running is important to me, and i need to find a way to get myself health yenough to do it more often and with better results.. all the best!