Well, here's a video ramble please watch this first for context, before reading today's blog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l76cauUtTxU
now, let's take a closer look at my case:
primary sex characteristic = born with penis
sexual identity = absolutely knew that i needed a vagina. was not happy or comfortable with penis. was unable to engage in sexual activities without a vagina.
sex reassignment surgery = has allowed me to have a genital 'presentation' that matches genital 'identity' no longer suffer from sex dysphoria.
transsexual = one who insists that they need to change from penis to vagina.
gender = presumed to be a mascline person based on the false assumption that male = boy.
rejected many stereotypical boy/man roles, but embraced some of them. desired to take on certain roles that were deemed feminine/girly/womanly. rejected some ideas or roles of same.
gender incongruence? incongruent from what? i rejected the concept that gender is binary, and still do.
more importantly, i recognize that society has two erroneous assumption. one, that gender is binary, and two, that gender identity drives sex identity.
recognized that WPATH erroneously linked sex to gender. realized i would have to undertake a drastic change in gender presentation in order to be deemed suitable for SRS.
unique position between rock and a hard place: society expects me to be a man, based on being born male; yet WPATH expects me to be a woman, based on their theory that gender dictates sex.
my gender identity? i don't have a gender. i am non-gendered. i don't perceive myself to be boy or girl, man or woman, or masculine or feminine. my gender identity nor my understanding of societal expectations had no role on my gender identity, but it did play a role in how i undertook gender presentation, and still do.
ironically, i had to oversell a false gender identity via gender presentation, to get society to better learn to accept my transsexualism.
does having a surgically-created vagina make me anatomically and legally female? yes.
does it change my gender or make me more feminine? no, not at all.
my theory re psychological vs physical:
sex = binary
gender = not binary
you can't talk someone out of being transsexual.
you can't talk someone out of their gender identity.
you can resolve transsexualism by having SRS
you can resolve binary transgenderism by changing gender presentation
you can never resolve non-binary transgenderism by implimenting a binary-fixing solution.
WHAT ABOUT SECONDARY SEX CHARACTERISTICS?
hormones vs anatomy
what if you want to be a woman with a penis, but not have testicles? sure, nothing wrong with that. it's just not me. i like the term 'part-op identity' to describe this situation. is this person male or female? well, anatomically, they have a penis, hence male. but in terms of secondary sex characteristics, they are hormonally female.
what about the non-op who takes hormones? similar situation as above.
what if you want SRS to become female, have a body that reaps the benefits of years of estrogen and progesterone, but want to still produce testosterone? the medical world, let alone society, has not caught up with you yet. in terms of athletic ability and fairness, it is true that a post-op transsexual female has less testosterone than natal females who have functioning ovaries. in fact, a hypothesis has been put on the table recently to the International Olympic Committee by an aspiring olympic transsexual female to be granted permission to take testosterone suppliments to bring her T levels up to the generally-accepted range of natal females.
where do i stand on this? well, i really miss the strength, speed, endurance, and energy that i no longer have due to lack of testosterone. however, i realized that estrogen and progesterone would not work their magic on my body (providing me secondary female sex characteristics) unless i completely eliminated testosterone from my body.
once hormone replacement therapy has maximized what it will do, would i consider taking testosterone suppliments to enhance my energy and athletic ability? yes, absolutely! in fact, this is desirable and is likely to be something i would seek out. however, only with reasonable assurance that the T would not reverse the secondary female sex characteristics of my body.
from a legal perspective, what matters more? sex or gender? realistically, this is the problem with society. both are factors in terms of acceptance. and both need to fit neatly into a congruent and binary realm for acceptence. post-op transsexuals can only gain true acceptance if they are passable and stealth. i am not stealth, and hence, passibility is not applicable - and because of this, i face discrimination and scrutiny.
IMPLICATIONS OF ONTARIO HUMAN RIGHTS RULING:
non-ops will now be granted the opportunity to obtain change in ID marker without needing surgical intervention.
is society more likely to respect or accept a non-op based on this ruling? i think this could help in some ways but hurt in others.
is society more accepting of pre-ops and post-ops than non-ops? that's a tough question, and this is clearly the biggest issue that has caused all this debate. personally, i think wrapping ones head around the concept of a sex change is tough enough, and one that society is still struggling with. but to ask them to accept someone who changes gender yet insists that they don't want or need a sex change? well, that leaves an imbalance that they can't understand. at least with a transsexual, they can understand that the surgery is designed to correct a sense of imbalance.
where do we go from here? not really sure....... you tell me folks! e-mail me! as soon as we can identify the perceived problems, then, and only then, can we work towards finding and implimenting a solution.