Thursday, June 30, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
June 24, 2011 - Off the Shelf: the long-lost Trans Health Article!
Transsexual Health Care in Newfoundland: Negotiating Red Tape and Old Stereotypes
In June 2007, Jefferson McCreath, a male who knew she was actually a woman born transsexual, moved to Newfoundland to take a job with the provincial government. Shortly after establishing herself into her new house, new job and new town, she took immediate steps to start her transition.
Although transsexualism was traditionally considered a mental illness the global medical community has almost unanimously recognized it as a physiological condition that can only be rectified through physical intervention: hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and sex reassignment surgery (SRS).
The Harry Benjamin Standards of Care, 6th Edition, (SOC) are globally recognized as the best-practice for transsexual health care. McCreath was saddened to learn that this protocol was not recognized in Newfoundland. Even worse, she found an old out-of-date government policy that required patients to travel to Toronto to complete a program at the infamous Gender Identity Clinic at the Centre for Addictions and Mental Health (CAMH), before the province would fund SRS. She also found that most other procedures were not covered, no matter what.
McCreath had already become familiar with the many horror stories that had been told by CAMH patients about the negative treatment and strange research experiments they were apparently forced to undergo before being considered for funding; and how a reported 90% of patients were rejected. The SOC make it clear that any team of doctors can oversee the application of the protocol. The idea that a special mental illness gender clinic would be required seemed absurd, so she decided not to attend there.
Even through private care, McCreath knew that she would not be able to get HRT or SRS unless she was able to procure the services of doctors who would act as gatekeepers to allow access to the product. So the search was on.
Meanwhile, McCreath couldn’t wait to get her transition under way. So she took the primitive step of “going full time” before ever taking a hormone pill. Finally, in early 2008, Jennifer had put together a suitable medical team that would provide hormones, and eventually, a recommendation for surgery.
Before starting HRT, Jennifer knew that she would have to store sperm if she had ever hoped to become a biological parent. While the Newfoundland Health care system often provides this service to testicular cancer patients, she was advised that this would not likely be covered for her. So Jennifer opened the wallet and traveled to a private clinic to have sperm stored.
The HRT first started with estrogen and a testosterone blocker. Quickly, it became evident that the blocker had adverse side effects. So rather than wait for her to complete her one year Real Life Experience test (RLE) to prove her readiness for SRS, her doctors supported the idea that she should immediately seek to have her testes removed. Well, once again, Jennifer dug deep into the wallet and found herself traveling to a private clinic, in the USA.
2009 started with shock and disappointment. After initially feeling accepted at work, she noticed job duties being taken away and given to other new people in the organization. Then shortly thereafter, what was supposedly a safe and secure job became a layoff. While she had speculations that her transition may have been a factor, she did not have the resources or the energy to fight it. So Jennifer set out to do the impossible, find another job.
By this time, Jennifer had filed a Human Rights Complaint with the Human Rights Commission of Newfoundland and Labrador (HRC). The complaint was against the Newfoundland Medical Care Plan (MCP) for what she stated was discriminatory treatment, as she was denied care, and funding for care, as a transsexual, that would ordinarily be provided to others. She also complained that it was discriminatory for her to require a recommendation from CAMH, for procedures otherwise obtainable and fundable upon the recommendation of a Newfoundland doctor for others. Furthermore, she complained that MCP’s policy to refuse to fund SRS at private clinics in Canada was inappropriate given the lack of such a service being available in Canada by any public institution.
Unfortunately, Gender Identity and Gender Expression are not included explicitly in the Human Rights Code of Newfoundland. So Jennifer’s complaint was based on “sex.” Two years later there has been no decision rendered by the HRC.
Jennifer specifically wanted to have her SRS performed by Dr. Pierre Brassard in Montreal, given that he was the only SRS surgeon in Canada, and given that he is considered one of the best in the world. A year later, and 40 job interviews later, Jennifer finally landed work (as a file clerk, of all things). While this job would only pay half of what she was previously earning, this would at least allow Jennifer to have a financial foundation and allow her to further build upon her credit rating. On January 24/11, Jennifer had SRS with Dr. Brassard.
One other issue that remained were that with almost three years of estrogen, Jennifer was not seeing mature breast development. After conducting extensive research, it became evident that adding the natural female hormone, progesterone, would be the only way for this to happen. Unfortunately for Jennifer, her doctor was reluctant to provide this hormone as the Canadian trans health network did not recommend it. Determined, Jennifer made yet another trip to the USA to a private medical clinic, where she was able to secure progesterone.
It may seem that Jennifer’s transition is over, but that is far from reality. Although she has had nine laser sessions on her face, there is still an extensive amount of facial hair that will need to be eliminated through electrolysis. Additionally, Jennifer has been combating male pattern baldness, which is irreversible, by wearing wigs. This is far from an ideal solution; however, hair transplants are also expensive. Jennifer also needs to work on finding her female voice. Meanwhile, Jennifer continues to battle underemployment, and more recently, depression.
So, what’s up next for Jennifer? She’ll keep fighting for her rights and others, through educational and advocacy work. Jennifer’s vision is for transsexuals, and any other non-cisgender-conforming individual, to have timely and funded care, upon recommendations from their local doctors.
Jennifer recently joined Canadian Professional Association of Transgender Health (CPATH) as a non-voting member, to become part of a policy development committee, where she took a leadership role in penning a membership expansion policy that would allow CPATH to grow. Jennifer hopes CPATH will become an internationally-recognized body of knowledge for trans health, so that they can combat the old myths of the American Psychiatric Association’s DSM-V Gender Identity Committee, that transsexualism is a mental illness under the classification of “paraphilic fetish” (a label deemed suitable for sexual predators).
In addition to trans health policy work, Jennifer has also been recuited by PFLAG Canada to create and deliver a series of trans educational lectures, which will help Chapter leaders from across the country, better learn how to offer peer support to individuals who attend peer support meetings. There will also be an information package preparted and distributed.
Furthermore, Jennifer has also entered preliminary discussions with transwomen from across Eastern Canada to form the first officially-registered non-profit organization who will have an exclusive mandate of undertaking societal education, peer support, and advocacy & government lobbying, with regards to trans issues.
Jennifer also continues to play a key role in community peer support and education locally, and nationally. She frequently speaks publicly about trans issues, provides informal trans consulting advice on her blog, YouTube, and in person. Ultimately, Jennifer is concerned that she has essentially taken on the role of “unofficial spokesperson” for trans issues in Newfoundland, and even more concerned that it is she, not the Department of Health, who many people are turning to on a regular basis for help and advice.
Finally, Jennifer has taken a leadership role in managing the planning and delivery of a project team that will plan and deliver an awesome series of events for Pride Week 2011 in the City of St. John's, as part of one of the non-profit companies that she co-runs, St. John's Pride Inc. (for more info, see www.stjohnspride.org )
Meanwhile, she's always willing and able to make time to talk to anyone about trans issues. contact her at jennifer.mccreath@yahoo.com .
In June 2007, Jefferson McCreath, a male who knew she was actually a woman born transsexual, moved to Newfoundland to take a job with the provincial government. Shortly after establishing herself into her new house, new job and new town, she took immediate steps to start her transition.
Although transsexualism was traditionally considered a mental illness the global medical community has almost unanimously recognized it as a physiological condition that can only be rectified through physical intervention: hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and sex reassignment surgery (SRS).
The Harry Benjamin Standards of Care, 6th Edition, (SOC) are globally recognized as the best-practice for transsexual health care. McCreath was saddened to learn that this protocol was not recognized in Newfoundland. Even worse, she found an old out-of-date government policy that required patients to travel to Toronto to complete a program at the infamous Gender Identity Clinic at the Centre for Addictions and Mental Health (CAMH), before the province would fund SRS. She also found that most other procedures were not covered, no matter what.
McCreath had already become familiar with the many horror stories that had been told by CAMH patients about the negative treatment and strange research experiments they were apparently forced to undergo before being considered for funding; and how a reported 90% of patients were rejected. The SOC make it clear that any team of doctors can oversee the application of the protocol. The idea that a special mental illness gender clinic would be required seemed absurd, so she decided not to attend there.
Even through private care, McCreath knew that she would not be able to get HRT or SRS unless she was able to procure the services of doctors who would act as gatekeepers to allow access to the product. So the search was on.
Meanwhile, McCreath couldn’t wait to get her transition under way. So she took the primitive step of “going full time” before ever taking a hormone pill. Finally, in early 2008, Jennifer had put together a suitable medical team that would provide hormones, and eventually, a recommendation for surgery.
Before starting HRT, Jennifer knew that she would have to store sperm if she had ever hoped to become a biological parent. While the Newfoundland Health care system often provides this service to testicular cancer patients, she was advised that this would not likely be covered for her. So Jennifer opened the wallet and traveled to a private clinic to have sperm stored.
The HRT first started with estrogen and a testosterone blocker. Quickly, it became evident that the blocker had adverse side effects. So rather than wait for her to complete her one year Real Life Experience test (RLE) to prove her readiness for SRS, her doctors supported the idea that she should immediately seek to have her testes removed. Well, once again, Jennifer dug deep into the wallet and found herself traveling to a private clinic, in the USA.
2009 started with shock and disappointment. After initially feeling accepted at work, she noticed job duties being taken away and given to other new people in the organization. Then shortly thereafter, what was supposedly a safe and secure job became a layoff. While she had speculations that her transition may have been a factor, she did not have the resources or the energy to fight it. So Jennifer set out to do the impossible, find another job.
By this time, Jennifer had filed a Human Rights Complaint with the Human Rights Commission of Newfoundland and Labrador (HRC). The complaint was against the Newfoundland Medical Care Plan (MCP) for what she stated was discriminatory treatment, as she was denied care, and funding for care, as a transsexual, that would ordinarily be provided to others. She also complained that it was discriminatory for her to require a recommendation from CAMH, for procedures otherwise obtainable and fundable upon the recommendation of a Newfoundland doctor for others. Furthermore, she complained that MCP’s policy to refuse to fund SRS at private clinics in Canada was inappropriate given the lack of such a service being available in Canada by any public institution.
Unfortunately, Gender Identity and Gender Expression are not included explicitly in the Human Rights Code of Newfoundland. So Jennifer’s complaint was based on “sex.” Two years later there has been no decision rendered by the HRC.
Jennifer specifically wanted to have her SRS performed by Dr. Pierre Brassard in Montreal, given that he was the only SRS surgeon in Canada, and given that he is considered one of the best in the world. A year later, and 40 job interviews later, Jennifer finally landed work (as a file clerk, of all things). While this job would only pay half of what she was previously earning, this would at least allow Jennifer to have a financial foundation and allow her to further build upon her credit rating. On January 24/11, Jennifer had SRS with Dr. Brassard.
One other issue that remained were that with almost three years of estrogen, Jennifer was not seeing mature breast development. After conducting extensive research, it became evident that adding the natural female hormone, progesterone, would be the only way for this to happen. Unfortunately for Jennifer, her doctor was reluctant to provide this hormone as the Canadian trans health network did not recommend it. Determined, Jennifer made yet another trip to the USA to a private medical clinic, where she was able to secure progesterone.
It may seem that Jennifer’s transition is over, but that is far from reality. Although she has had nine laser sessions on her face, there is still an extensive amount of facial hair that will need to be eliminated through electrolysis. Additionally, Jennifer has been combating male pattern baldness, which is irreversible, by wearing wigs. This is far from an ideal solution; however, hair transplants are also expensive. Jennifer also needs to work on finding her female voice. Meanwhile, Jennifer continues to battle underemployment, and more recently, depression.
So, what’s up next for Jennifer? She’ll keep fighting for her rights and others, through educational and advocacy work. Jennifer’s vision is for transsexuals, and any other non-cisgender-conforming individual, to have timely and funded care, upon recommendations from their local doctors.
Jennifer recently joined Canadian Professional Association of Transgender Health (CPATH) as a non-voting member, to become part of a policy development committee, where she took a leadership role in penning a membership expansion policy that would allow CPATH to grow. Jennifer hopes CPATH will become an internationally-recognized body of knowledge for trans health, so that they can combat the old myths of the American Psychiatric Association’s DSM-V Gender Identity Committee, that transsexualism is a mental illness under the classification of “paraphilic fetish” (a label deemed suitable for sexual predators).
In addition to trans health policy work, Jennifer has also been recuited by PFLAG Canada to create and deliver a series of trans educational lectures, which will help Chapter leaders from across the country, better learn how to offer peer support to individuals who attend peer support meetings. There will also be an information package preparted and distributed.
Furthermore, Jennifer has also entered preliminary discussions with transwomen from across Eastern Canada to form the first officially-registered non-profit organization who will have an exclusive mandate of undertaking societal education, peer support, and advocacy & government lobbying, with regards to trans issues.
Jennifer also continues to play a key role in community peer support and education locally, and nationally. She frequently speaks publicly about trans issues, provides informal trans consulting advice on her blog, YouTube, and in person. Ultimately, Jennifer is concerned that she has essentially taken on the role of “unofficial spokesperson” for trans issues in Newfoundland, and even more concerned that it is she, not the Department of Health, who many people are turning to on a regular basis for help and advice.
Finally, Jennifer has taken a leadership role in managing the planning and delivery of a project team that will plan and deliver an awesome series of events for Pride Week 2011 in the City of St. John's, as part of one of the non-profit companies that she co-runs, St. John's Pride Inc. (for more info, see www.stjohnspride.org )
Meanwhile, she's always willing and able to make time to talk to anyone about trans issues. contact her at jennifer.mccreath@yahoo.com .
June 24, 2011 - snubbed, twice!
Gee, not exactly a great day. first I learn that an article on trans health in Newfoundland, that I worked so keenly on, was cut from Wayves magazine for the second month in a row. even worse, my so-called monthly column and my 'team membership' were not recognized. trying to find out what happened. I still strongly support the organizations work and encourage people to read the July issue.. but you will definitely take note that the content is very focused on Halifax, with a small helping of Moncton.. but nothing in there for Newfoundland, or transsexuals for that matter. not exactly the best way to encourage Newfoundlanders to buy into supporting the product. oh well, I sent off a little e-mail to the editors so it will be interesting to see what they have to say. meanwhile, I won't let folks wait any longer. I will be quickly editing the article tonight and will publish it right here on jennifermccreath.blogspot.com for the world to see!
speaking of snubbing, I found out that I finished runner up for yet another government of Newfoundland analyst job. heck, they might as well not even bother to run competitions. just make a rubber stamp that says "Jennifer McCreath second place" for every job ad that comes out of that institution.
I have one more interview on July 5, and I am awaiting results of my most recent interview from last week, but I have decided that if I don't get one of these jobs, then i wIll no longer seek further job interviews with this org. 50 strikes and you are out. I will then focus my job search in other directions. it's just not worth the time and emotions to be a sacrificial lamb every time. It's totally sad that the Newfoundland Government won't hire me to do high quality work that I have clearly demonstrated that I can do.
speaking of snubbing, I found out that I finished runner up for yet another government of Newfoundland analyst job. heck, they might as well not even bother to run competitions. just make a rubber stamp that says "Jennifer McCreath second place" for every job ad that comes out of that institution.
I have one more interview on July 5, and I am awaiting results of my most recent interview from last week, but I have decided that if I don't get one of these jobs, then i wIll no longer seek further job interviews with this org. 50 strikes and you are out. I will then focus my job search in other directions. it's just not worth the time and emotions to be a sacrificial lamb every time. It's totally sad that the Newfoundland Government won't hire me to do high quality work that I have clearly demonstrated that I can do.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
June 19, 2011 - heartbreak sucks for transsexuals too!
Oh my, it is amazing how debilitating emotional stress and depression can be. What makes it brutal is that you never know when it will hit, and when it does, you have no control over it. Just when things seem to be going great, boom, it hits, and hits hard. The more things change, the more they stay the same, and the tougher they seem to get to deal with. Other than my dismal employment situation, life is going great. i'm post op, i'm legally female. i'm finally at the stage where my body has adjusted to the hormonal changes, and i am able to resume running and i am losing weight... i have a great circle of friends here at home in Newfoundland, and i am developing a very strong bond with transwomen in other parts of eastern canada. i am making strong meaningful leadership contributions to a variety of non-profit ventures, including st. john's pride, CPATH, and PFLAG. I am about to take on a major role in helping the provincial NDP party here. summer is approaching and i live in one of the most beautiful parts of the world....
but the one thing that hasn't changed, is my ability to develop strong intense romantic feelings for people that i can't seem to have. the year started out with my amazing trip to Montreal for surgery. and while i was there, ireally fell hard for my roommate. 5 days later, she's flying home to a southern part of the USA. I go visit her a few months later, but that only seems to make the pain worse. she doesn't have any interest in dating me, or any transwomen for that matter.. plus, the long distance thing wouldn't appeal to either of us.
so on comes the next one... a transwoman i had been casually aquiainted with for almost a year and never thought too much of it. well, we finally started chatting on phone and we really seemed to click. a second phone call and a third phone call... each one lasting over 4 hours. then we had as many as 4 trips planned to meet each other and spend time together, even before we met. well, the first visit was awesome. i knew that these feelings i had were real. but unfortunately, the feelings were not returned, not necessarily because i wasn't considered a good catch, but because she's at a stage in her transition where she's just not comfortable with the idea of romance with anyone. 2 visits later, we have really hit it off a friends and as business partners of sorts.. and this is all great, don't get me wrong! but it is very painful and very bittersweet. i know many people who can't stand to be around, let alone be best friends, with someone they can't have more from; but i'd like to think that i have the respect and dignity to not be like that. i genuinely love the friendship and the work, and will never give that up, but it doesn't change the fact that it really f*ckin' hurts.
oh well, if there's one lesson in here, i've come to realize that i'd love to be with another transwomen.. that goes for sexually, romantically, and anything else you can add into the relationship equation. spending time with the above-mentioned friends, and several other transwomen friends, have made me realize that. this has also made me realize my true pansexuality. i often thought i was only attracted to GGs (aka women born female), but that's clearly not the case. i love transpeople - i find transwomen (pre-op, post-op, part-op, or even non-op) to be very attractive packages. i've even caught myself noticing a few effeminsate men in ways i've never looked at them before. so if there is a silver lining in this dark cloud, there should be more potentialy suitable candidates than even i realized, that are out there in this world. if i can try to remain a happy, positive, motivated person, then i can only hope that it is a matter of time before my long-lost life partner lands in front of me takes me off my feet! sometimes i wonder if this will ever happen, and i get really worried..
well, i'm gonna sendf this off now. i just wanted to send out a gentle reminder that we have feelings too!
Jenn
but the one thing that hasn't changed, is my ability to develop strong intense romantic feelings for people that i can't seem to have. the year started out with my amazing trip to Montreal for surgery. and while i was there, ireally fell hard for my roommate. 5 days later, she's flying home to a southern part of the USA. I go visit her a few months later, but that only seems to make the pain worse. she doesn't have any interest in dating me, or any transwomen for that matter.. plus, the long distance thing wouldn't appeal to either of us.
so on comes the next one... a transwoman i had been casually aquiainted with for almost a year and never thought too much of it. well, we finally started chatting on phone and we really seemed to click. a second phone call and a third phone call... each one lasting over 4 hours. then we had as many as 4 trips planned to meet each other and spend time together, even before we met. well, the first visit was awesome. i knew that these feelings i had were real. but unfortunately, the feelings were not returned, not necessarily because i wasn't considered a good catch, but because she's at a stage in her transition where she's just not comfortable with the idea of romance with anyone. 2 visits later, we have really hit it off a friends and as business partners of sorts.. and this is all great, don't get me wrong! but it is very painful and very bittersweet. i know many people who can't stand to be around, let alone be best friends, with someone they can't have more from; but i'd like to think that i have the respect and dignity to not be like that. i genuinely love the friendship and the work, and will never give that up, but it doesn't change the fact that it really f*ckin' hurts.
oh well, if there's one lesson in here, i've come to realize that i'd love to be with another transwomen.. that goes for sexually, romantically, and anything else you can add into the relationship equation. spending time with the above-mentioned friends, and several other transwomen friends, have made me realize that. this has also made me realize my true pansexuality. i often thought i was only attracted to GGs (aka women born female), but that's clearly not the case. i love transpeople - i find transwomen (pre-op, post-op, part-op, or even non-op) to be very attractive packages. i've even caught myself noticing a few effeminsate men in ways i've never looked at them before. so if there is a silver lining in this dark cloud, there should be more potentialy suitable candidates than even i realized, that are out there in this world. if i can try to remain a happy, positive, motivated person, then i can only hope that it is a matter of time before my long-lost life partner lands in front of me takes me off my feet! sometimes i wonder if this will ever happen, and i get really worried..
well, i'm gonna sendf this off now. i just wanted to send out a gentle reminder that we have feelings too!
Jenn
Thursday, June 16, 2011
June 16, 2011 - the rest of the week
well, lots on the go this week, that's for sure! it was brought to my attention that the executive of CPATH are in full support of the policy proposal that i took the lead on penning, upon consultation with a working group of trans health professionals and advocates. It is expected that the policy will be voted into corporate law at the upcoming AGM. It is exciting to know that little old me played a key role in making CPATH more accessible to the people who will help impliment its mandate - that being, taking steps to improve health care for transsexuals in Canada.
in other news, i am going to be getting deeply involved with the NDP provincial district association, for the riding of St. John's North. I am going to help put together an AGM, draft upcorporate by-laws, and help oversee the process of getting an executive put in place (of whom i will likely be a member), who will oversee the responsibility of helping the party select and elect the best possible candidate for the riding.
if that's not enough, i continue to work with national executive for PFLAG Canada, as part of a trans education project, that will be geared towards their various Chapter leaders.
finally, significant progress is being made for Pride Week here in St. John's. Many community members and key organizations have engaged the company in working relationships. I have an amazing team of people who are all working very hard to get things done. events are being booked,sponsorships are being secured, venues are being booked, permits and applications are being filled out and submitted, fund raisers are being organized, and media is finally starting to be engaged. to keep up to date, check out www.stjohnspride.org
oh, if that's not enough, i have my sites set on launching two more non-profit companies in the very near future. One that will provide peer support and advocacy by and for trans people, and one that will serve as an association of health care patients who will offer peer support and undertake lobbying work to help improve our health care system here in Newfoundland.
meanwhile, the day job continues to help pay the bills. there have been some new faces added to the office lately, which brings a fresh sense of enthusiasm and excitement. we are actually having a rare office social tomorrow - a party at someone's house, so that will be a fun chance to get to know everyone better.
meanwhile, job interviews continue, as i had what i felt was an excellent interview for an information management analyst position with the department of labrador and aboriginal affairs. let's hope this one turns out differently than the previous 40 or so analyst job interviews. there's got to be at least one person out there that is willing to overlook my status as a transsexual and recognize the talent, experience, and potential that i can bring to an organization as an analyst in the field of information management and information protection.
meanwhile, i am really starting to think outside the box here. if i can't get anyone to hire me, then i am really going to look hard for ways to manufacture my own career. whether it be trying to grow the non-profit organizations that i currently play a leadership role with, or whether it be attempting to turn volunteer work into a contract or grant. although working 80-100 hour weeks is taxing on the body, it sure feels great to see things getting accomplished that both help make this world a better place, and help add to my sporgasborg of valuable experiences on my resume.
one final note, i am disappointed to announce that i will be missing out on CPATH's AGM, but it is for a very good cause. the daughter of my best friend, is graduating from elementary school. She has some learning disabilities that have made it extra challenging for her to both excell in academics, and fit in socially. this is a huge milestone success story, and i am honoured that i have been asked to be in attendance for this wonderful occasion.
finally, i have been battling a nasty flu-like bug for 2 weeks. not surprising given how low and vulnurable my immune system must be from all that running i did last month. so i have been resting up, at least in terms of not running much. my knees are definitely thankful for the break!
well, off we go to bed!
Jenn
Jenn
June 16, 2011 - Transgender Day of Celebration - Camping in New Brunswick
Yikes, has it really been 9 days since I last posted? It has really been a crazy couple of weeks. I have never been so busy in my entire life. but I am managing to hang in there health-wise, and I am thoroughly enjoying the work. first of all, it was an amazing weekend in New Brunswick. The first ever Transgender Day of Celebration Camping weekend was a huge success. I flew into Halifax from Newfoundland on Saturday morning, rented a van, picked up 5 people, and drove to New Brunswick. there, we met the host, my amazing friend Josie, and several other attendees. We drove into the woods, unloaded our gear, set up tents, and had an amazing time. while a total of 12 people camped over night, we had an additional 6 people attend the day's event, so a total crowd of 18.
We had a lovely time exchanging stories of struggles and success, both inside and outside of our transition. we had a great time laughing and joking around and poking fun at each other too! It was also time to symbolically let go of health trends to celebrate. After Josie broke her 2 year vegetarianism by having a symbolic hamburger, I decided to break my 12.5 year dry spell, and I cracked open a beer! (I will now attempt to become the first transsexual in world history to have quit drinking for 12.5 years, twice! ....lol).
As the evening set in, we got the campfire lit, and hours and hours of more stories were told, and friendships developed. I ended up rooming in a tent with my lovely new friend Trina, a transwoman from Halifax. we hit it off and had a great time telling jokes and filming episodes for my youtube channel.
One of the highlights was a video we filmed in Josie's yet-to-be finished out house. The toilet and foundation were there, but no walls or door in place, so we took the opportunity to use humour to send a strong message about the serious issue of transpeople being falsely perceived as bathroom predators.
The key highlight for me was seeing my dear friend Josie enjoying the event in her environment. Josie is as girly as they get, yet at the same time, she loves her outdoors - her tractor, her chainsaw, her pick up truck!. Josie worked so hard to make this event happen and I know everyone in attendance were highly appreciative of her efforts to put this thing together.
The night was very cold, and after 3 hours in the tent, I decided to go warm up in the van! I ended up falling asleep in the van for another hour, giving me a total of 4 hours sleep - 4 more than I anticipated I would get! the sun rose around 5.30 am, and myself, Josie, and Aimee were awake and ready to go. Josie got the camp fire burning again - and made campfire coffee, while Aimee took the lead on creating BBQ pancakes! Eventually, after many team pictures, we packed up and all headed home.
The long drive back into Halifax to return my 5 friends was tiring, but it was extra special for me to be able to play a small part in making the event what it was, by providing transportation to others who may not have otherwise been able to attend. I made some great new friendships, and further developed fairly new existing friendships. the trans community in Canada is so small and so spread out. to get transpeople from 3 of the 4 Atlantic provinces together, made for an amazing atmosphere. I totally did not want to come home.
Anyway, a big thanks to Josie, Trina and Aimee for making this such an amazing weekend. I love you all and can't wait to see you all again.
Well, this was initially going to be a blog about the past 9 days, but it is already long enough, so I think I will cut it off and write another one to talk about the many other things that I have on the go.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
June 7, 2011 - A blast from the past!
...thought i'd share this critical milestone coming out communication. this note could be considered a guideline for how to come out to a second tier level of your social circle.. this note proved to be fairly successful in terms of breaking the ice with people on the subject. funny to see how optimistic i was about the prospects of my career. sadly, i was so wrong about that. but looking back, pretty much every other prediction i made back then, turned out to be true, in terms of my transition time table. Enjoy!
--------------------------------------------------------
Received: Saturday, November 10, 2007, 11:58 AM
Update from the East Coast
Dear family and friends,
it's certainly been a while since i have communicated
with some of you..
my life continues to get interesting for me. i'm finally settled into my new job and new life here in St. John's, Newfoundland. it's great being a big fish in a small pond here working for the Provincial Government. lots of opportunities to take on new responsibilities and assignments that most people at the Senior Analyst level wouldn't get.
i think they are already realizing my potential and they are quite anxious to secure me a permanent position, and hopefully grow into an official Management-level job a few years from now.
Additionally, as some of you may know, i have made a major effort to improve my health and fitness this year, mostly by way of taking up swimming and long-distance running. in 8 months, i dropped down from 240 to 180 pounds, and in the process, completed
several full-length marathon runs, including clocking official finishing results in the Mississauga, Cleveland, Buffalo, Toronto, and St John's marathons.
Although my knees have been quite overworked, i look forward to continued progress with weight-loss, overall health and fitness, and hopefully one day, a Qualification to run the granddaddy of them all, the legendary Boston Marathon.
i guess the other big news, as some of you already know, (and for those who don't, this will probably come as quite a shock), is that i am officially self-diagnosed as a transsexual. this diagnosis was actually made back in January of this year. i am just now starting to make this public and take appropriate action to deal with this difficult situation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transsexual
This wikipedia reference does a good job at describing the condition, and the solutions. the next 5 years of my life are certainly not going to be easy, heck, the
rest of my life is not going to be easy; but the good news is, that after 33 years of depression and confusion, i finally have hope that i can actually live a meaningful second half of my life.
the frustrating thing is not that i have to deal with this, but that it took me 33 years to figure it out. i've generally lived a very confusing and unhappy life. a life without comfort in social, romantic, and sexual situations; a life without confidence; a life
without meaning. ...and although there were clear indications of my transsexualism going back as far as 1982, it has taken me this long to officially recognize it.
The good news is that i am still fairly young, very physically fit, and in a very strong mental and emotional frame of mind to handle this. I know I still have a lot of meaningful life left in me and I intend to maximize these remaining decades.
My first major step in dealing with this has been my weight loss. Transition is a very physically demanding thing, and I know that I will need to be in the best shape possible to deal with this. As much as I enjoy the accolades of competing in marathons, that is
purely a secondary thing. This is all about weight loss and healthy living in preparation for the transition journey ahead.
My next step will be to start seeing a psychiatrist who specialized in Sex/Gender Therapy, who will help facilitate a referral for Hormone Replacement Therapy, which I hope to start sometime mid way into 2008. This will start with Testosterone blockers for 3 months, and then continue into Estrogen injections, which I will take for the rest of my life.
It will take anywhere from 3-5 years for the estrogen to do its job and literally transform my body in the form of: feminine weight distribution, change in skin
complexion, and yes, the growth of breasts. Additionally, estrogen will change my emotions and personality (as if i wasn't already soft, sweet and sensitive enough! yikes!)
There are also things that the estrogen won't do, which means i will have to have a series of medical procedures done: laser or electrolysis hair removal on various body parts, potential facial feminization surgery, voice retraining, i will also have to do something about my male pattern baldness, as hormones won't fix the damage already done there, .....and then the big one, the genital reassignment surgery, which will be the last of all of these things, which i hope to have done 3-5 years from now.
all of this is in scope for me and all of this MUST happen in order for me to become the true real person that i know i really am, a woman.
I'm also proud to announce that at some point within the next 2 years, I will be having my name legally changed to Jennifer.
other than all of this, i will essentially be the same person you know well and hopefully like and love. i will continue to love my 70s rock music and my
football, i will continue to have my crazy sense of humor, and i will continue to do wild and crazy things, like run marathons, go swimming in frozen ponds, and take driving trips all over the world to see NFL games and rock concerts..
so far, although everyone is shocked to learn this about me, the majority of my family and friends have been very positive and supportive. i'm certainly going
to need all the love, support, and friendship i can get, as i deal with this very difficult and socially-taboo issue.
The other major obstacle will be to roll this out at work. i have already told a few people at work, and i am going to chat with my boss and the CEO very soon. i have tons of faith and confidence that this can and will work for me in this office. this office, and this city in general, seem to be a very open and accepting place. Amazingly enough, St. John's, Newfoundland seems to be a great place to have to deal with this.
Being transsexual is definitely not a "choice". This is clearly something i was born with. The only "choice" i am choosing to make is to take corrective action. There really is no alternative. Untreated transsexualism often leads to severe depression and suicide, and i certainly don't want to go down that path.
I often tell people that Sex is what's in between your legs, and Gender is what's between your ears. As we all know, our brain represents life and our brain dictates who we are and how we feel. although we do get to make many choices in life, there are others that are chosen for us. we don't get to decide our height, we don't get to decide our eye colour, we don't get to decide whether we are left or right handed... we don't get to choose our sexual orientation, and we definitely don't get to choose our sexual and gender identity.
Also, as the wikipedia article states, Sexual Identity and Sexual Orientation are two mutually exclusive things. The topic of my sexual orientation is a whole other e-mail that i won't likely even be able to write until this transition process is complete, (i may think i know my sexual orientation now, but hormone replacement therapy has often been know to change this for people). In short, i am not actively interested in
sexual activity with anyone until i complete this transition.
So, anyway, if there's anything about any of this that you'd like to talk about, please feel free to let me know. i can't guarantee i will have answers to everything, as i am still in a learning phase of how to deal with this and what it all means, but i will certainly do my best to explain and reply to anything you'd like to know.
As your teacher once said, there's no such thing as a stupid question... and there's no question that's too personal or embarrassing for me to answer. i am willing to do whatever it takes to gain everyone's trust, respect, and acceptance of this.
Unlike being gay/lesbian or bisexual, this is something that can't be closeted. this is about identity. My body and wardrobe are going to change drastically over the next 3-5 years; and i think it's best that people know what's coming, well in advance, so they will be less shocked when they actually see it.
I don't know when i will see all of you next, and i have no idea what i will look like or what i will be wearing when this time comes, but i hope you can learn to feel comfortable having Jennifer in your presence.
Please feel free to pass this information along to any other family members or any of your close friends that know me. and do encourage them to get in touch with me if they'd like to have a chat to discuss this further.
Additionally, if you'd like to learn more and follow my progress, i encourage you to sign up to facebook and add me.
all the best,
Jennifer Jefferson Gordon McCreath
--------------------------------------------------------
Received: Saturday, November 10, 2007, 11:58 AM
Update from the East Coast
Dear family and friends,
it's certainly been a while since i have communicated
with some of you..
my life continues to get interesting for me. i'm finally settled into my new job and new life here in St. John's, Newfoundland. it's great being a big fish in a small pond here working for the Provincial Government. lots of opportunities to take on new responsibilities and assignments that most people at the Senior Analyst level wouldn't get.
i think they are already realizing my potential and they are quite anxious to secure me a permanent position, and hopefully grow into an official Management-level job a few years from now.
Additionally, as some of you may know, i have made a major effort to improve my health and fitness this year, mostly by way of taking up swimming and long-distance running. in 8 months, i dropped down from 240 to 180 pounds, and in the process, completed
several full-length marathon runs, including clocking official finishing results in the Mississauga, Cleveland, Buffalo, Toronto, and St John's marathons.
Although my knees have been quite overworked, i look forward to continued progress with weight-loss, overall health and fitness, and hopefully one day, a Qualification to run the granddaddy of them all, the legendary Boston Marathon.
i guess the other big news, as some of you already know, (and for those who don't, this will probably come as quite a shock), is that i am officially self-diagnosed as a transsexual. this diagnosis was actually made back in January of this year. i am just now starting to make this public and take appropriate action to deal with this difficult situation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transsexual
This wikipedia reference does a good job at describing the condition, and the solutions. the next 5 years of my life are certainly not going to be easy, heck, the
rest of my life is not going to be easy; but the good news is, that after 33 years of depression and confusion, i finally have hope that i can actually live a meaningful second half of my life.
the frustrating thing is not that i have to deal with this, but that it took me 33 years to figure it out. i've generally lived a very confusing and unhappy life. a life without comfort in social, romantic, and sexual situations; a life without confidence; a life
without meaning. ...and although there were clear indications of my transsexualism going back as far as 1982, it has taken me this long to officially recognize it.
The good news is that i am still fairly young, very physically fit, and in a very strong mental and emotional frame of mind to handle this. I know I still have a lot of meaningful life left in me and I intend to maximize these remaining decades.
My first major step in dealing with this has been my weight loss. Transition is a very physically demanding thing, and I know that I will need to be in the best shape possible to deal with this. As much as I enjoy the accolades of competing in marathons, that is
purely a secondary thing. This is all about weight loss and healthy living in preparation for the transition journey ahead.
My next step will be to start seeing a psychiatrist who specialized in Sex/Gender Therapy, who will help facilitate a referral for Hormone Replacement Therapy, which I hope to start sometime mid way into 2008. This will start with Testosterone blockers for 3 months, and then continue into Estrogen injections, which I will take for the rest of my life.
It will take anywhere from 3-5 years for the estrogen to do its job and literally transform my body in the form of: feminine weight distribution, change in skin
complexion, and yes, the growth of breasts. Additionally, estrogen will change my emotions and personality (as if i wasn't already soft, sweet and sensitive enough! yikes!)
There are also things that the estrogen won't do, which means i will have to have a series of medical procedures done: laser or electrolysis hair removal on various body parts, potential facial feminization surgery, voice retraining, i will also have to do something about my male pattern baldness, as hormones won't fix the damage already done there, .....and then the big one, the genital reassignment surgery, which will be the last of all of these things, which i hope to have done 3-5 years from now.
all of this is in scope for me and all of this MUST happen in order for me to become the true real person that i know i really am, a woman.
I'm also proud to announce that at some point within the next 2 years, I will be having my name legally changed to Jennifer.
other than all of this, i will essentially be the same person you know well and hopefully like and love. i will continue to love my 70s rock music and my
football, i will continue to have my crazy sense of humor, and i will continue to do wild and crazy things, like run marathons, go swimming in frozen ponds, and take driving trips all over the world to see NFL games and rock concerts..
so far, although everyone is shocked to learn this about me, the majority of my family and friends have been very positive and supportive. i'm certainly going
to need all the love, support, and friendship i can get, as i deal with this very difficult and socially-taboo issue.
The other major obstacle will be to roll this out at work. i have already told a few people at work, and i am going to chat with my boss and the CEO very soon. i have tons of faith and confidence that this can and will work for me in this office. this office, and this city in general, seem to be a very open and accepting place. Amazingly enough, St. John's, Newfoundland seems to be a great place to have to deal with this.
Being transsexual is definitely not a "choice". This is clearly something i was born with. The only "choice" i am choosing to make is to take corrective action. There really is no alternative. Untreated transsexualism often leads to severe depression and suicide, and i certainly don't want to go down that path.
I often tell people that Sex is what's in between your legs, and Gender is what's between your ears. As we all know, our brain represents life and our brain dictates who we are and how we feel. although we do get to make many choices in life, there are others that are chosen for us. we don't get to decide our height, we don't get to decide our eye colour, we don't get to decide whether we are left or right handed... we don't get to choose our sexual orientation, and we definitely don't get to choose our sexual and gender identity.
Also, as the wikipedia article states, Sexual Identity and Sexual Orientation are two mutually exclusive things. The topic of my sexual orientation is a whole other e-mail that i won't likely even be able to write until this transition process is complete, (i may think i know my sexual orientation now, but hormone replacement therapy has often been know to change this for people). In short, i am not actively interested in
sexual activity with anyone until i complete this transition.
So, anyway, if there's anything about any of this that you'd like to talk about, please feel free to let me know. i can't guarantee i will have answers to everything, as i am still in a learning phase of how to deal with this and what it all means, but i will certainly do my best to explain and reply to anything you'd like to know.
As your teacher once said, there's no such thing as a stupid question... and there's no question that's too personal or embarrassing for me to answer. i am willing to do whatever it takes to gain everyone's trust, respect, and acceptance of this.
Unlike being gay/lesbian or bisexual, this is something that can't be closeted. this is about identity. My body and wardrobe are going to change drastically over the next 3-5 years; and i think it's best that people know what's coming, well in advance, so they will be less shocked when they actually see it.
I don't know when i will see all of you next, and i have no idea what i will look like or what i will be wearing when this time comes, but i hope you can learn to feel comfortable having Jennifer in your presence.
Please feel free to pass this information along to any other family members or any of your close friends that know me. and do encourage them to get in touch with me if they'd like to have a chat to discuss this further.
Additionally, if you'd like to learn more and follow my progress, i encourage you to sign up to facebook and add me.
all the best,
Jennifer Jefferson Gordon McCreath
Sunday, June 5, 2011
June 5, 2011 - St. John's Pride on Facebook
Seems the new group format on facebook makes it tough to actually find groups. Even worse, they do not show up on google searches! so let me take this opportunity to help add to its searchibility (if that's a word). Here is a link to the group: St. John's Pride Inc. Facebook Group and for the record the URL is: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_144907092249084& . For those of you who are interested in getting involved with Pride Week 2011 planning and delivery; or if you simply want to attend the events, please join this group to stay in the loop.
Jennifer
Jennifer
Saturday, June 4, 2011
June 4, 2011 - warn down
Well, perhaps all this activity has finally taken its toll on me. A nasty cold hit me early Thursday morning and kept me pretty much in bed for 48 hours. But I am finally feeling better today, and felt up to a trip to the pond to visit the new batch of baby duckies who recently hatched. Looking forward to another restful day, and hopefully back in business for Monday.
Jenn
Jenn
June 3, 2011 - Stop Harper?
ok folks, so a university student gets a federal government job as a Page in the Senate, and interrupts a formal throne speech by holding up a STOP sign that reads "Stop Harper". Well, that's definitely an interesting way for an activist to make a political statement, but also a great way to get fired and ruin your reputation. While many of my 'facebook friends' seem supportive, while i may agree with the message, i disagree with the delivery methodology. Disrespecting the institution of parliament may be something Harper has been allowed to get away with, but two wrongs don't necessarily make a right. Then again, Harper broke rules and he was still voted in a majority government, so who knows what's really right or wrong these days?? But what bothers me, is that goofs like this seem to have no problems getting jobs, yet i tend to lways get overlooked, because i am a member of an unrecognized visual minority, transsexual. Sad thing is, i bet she'll get hired again before i can find a better job, and i bet she'll be earning more money that i will within a few years! A strange and sad world we live in.
Jenn
Jenn
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